she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
