So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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