nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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