Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
