weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
