I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
