I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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