Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
