Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
