ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize