she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
