I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
did i walk over a car last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
