Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
