I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
