I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
