let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
