He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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