drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
