the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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