Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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