there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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