i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize