it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
