did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
