i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
