I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
