If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
