He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
