I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
