found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
