I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
