how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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