I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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