she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
