I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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