so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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