At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
