her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
