just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
