dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
