Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
