The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
