Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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