You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
COCAINE IS GR8
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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