my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's never too late to be topless.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
