I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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