I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
