dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
