I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
