I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
