last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
