If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
