You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
