Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's official drugs can't kill me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
