At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
