thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
