Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize