I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
