my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
