I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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