I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
