Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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